Hangover

They say there's always a first for everything.

I have been truly humbled.
By the deceptive long island tea

Part of me always prided myself on the fact that I would NEVER puke. That I would know my limits.

That I had the power, mentally, to will away the effects of any drug. Alcohol included.

I know now that it isn't true. I'm not a superhuman. As much as I'd like to think I am in many ways. My fragile ego, and my body were hurt in last night's events. But for those precious few minutes before I knew I was gone, it was great. I had entered into that semi-hallucinatory state that people generally called "being high". But that didn't last too long last night, before I hit the pissed drunk "seh" stage. Trust me, the painful aftermath is too high a price to pay for such an intensity of high.

Part of me feels wracked with guilt. For having to let my friends see me that way. I think it was a sorry and rather comical sight for them to see me beating myself up.

But as always, it could have been worse without these same friends around to look out for me. Friends who endured the grotesque sight of me spilling my guts in more ways than one [now I know why they call it that!], who sat by me to hold my hair away when I puked, who held my hand when I couldn't walk, who tried to make silly conversation in an attempt to keep me sober and those who assured me that what was done in a club, stays in the club. It doesn't. I wonder if they were reminding me or just reassuring themselves when they said it ;)

Hey well, when people used to ask me the question, "Have you been drunk before?". I hesitate... and go... well... kinda, yes. But I didn't have a clue what I was on about. And I wished that it had stayed that way. But now I know how it feels like, I don't like it one bit.

I'll just never want to do this again.
I'll stick to single shots, and not be a superhero.

I'm sorry guys. I really am. I wish I could take it all back.