Love Reflections

Men want to love
Women want to be loved

Its actually as simple as that

This came up as a topic of discussion at a girls group session quite awhile back. I'm struck by the simplicity of those words, and yet how unwilling we are, especially as girls, to come to accept that. Maybe its this culture of independence that perpetuates such stubborness, and no one really wants to make themselves appear vulnerable.

No, I'm not wonderkid, nor do I support extreme womens lib.
I still believe in the good old fashioned, biblical values of a woman's role and relationship with man.

Essentially man and woman, were created to reflect God. Together. Genesis 1:27

Our God is a God of relationships, even He exists as a relationship of 3 in himself. Because only in a relationship, can there be true love between individuals. How dare we call God "a God of love", how dare we call God, "Love", if He exists singularly? Love is relational. So how do we reflect God? How does a couple, together, as male and female reflect Christ?

1. In a relationship, I believe that women ought to submit to men, just as we are meant to submit to God. Eph 5:22-24

Well surprise surprise then.

2. Equally, and even harder, men are called to love their wives, to give their lives up for them, just as Christ did for his church. Eph 5:25-28

Both men and women have different roles. And if you pause and take a look, we are actually programmed for this. Which I believe reflects the reality of those two principles outlined.

I'm sure by now, everyone could go on about how men are from mars and women are from venus. Theres no denying that we are essentially different. We think differently, have different views on life, handle things differently, and we could gripe non-stop on how we never seem to understand each other.

For all those hoping for relationship advice, its this. Men want to love, as Christ did. They want to know that they are needed, they were made to love. Women, want to be loved, just as Christ loves us. They want to be adorable, they want to be adored. Here's where it breaks down, when men feel that their love is not needed, and when women feel insecure about how much they are loved. Thats why guys are afraid of independent headstrong women [yes of which this culture encourages], because they feel as if they are not needed. Similarly, it is also why girls are so desperate in finding out what guys are thinking, because they want to know they are loved. [does this hit reality yet?]

Of course, submission is not something this society would agree entirely with. What about submitting to an abusive husband? Heres the crux, we submit to men in knowing that they would love us, as Christ did, with our best interests at heart. As much as it is hard for men to love us as Christ did, [do realise that its a very very tall order. it means loving us enough to die for us]; it is equally hard for us to submit to men. [I'm sure many would resonate] How often as children of God, do we rebel against submitting our stubborn wills to God? A loving God that we know would never let us down? Yes excuse can be made when we hesitate trusting in human men, because they are falliable; but even then, we have difficulty fulling trusting our loving heavenly father.

It isn't easy both ways.

As a single person then, how does this all fit in? [Yes I do fall into this category, single as opposed to married, single as opposed to attached, either way] In my relationship with Jesus, I learn the virtue of submission. Which prepares me for whoever God has planned for me to submit to in the future. As a guy, one would learn the reality and extent of Jesus' love for His people, and thereby best be able to reflect that love to his future spouse.

How glorious it is to learn these virtues in a perfect relationship we have with our God, and therefore live it out in our lives, as reflections of Him, to point the people around us to Him through our earthly relationships. Radical, but biblical concepts, which the world around us would rather shun than pursue.

Finally, as much as I rebel and say I'd rather been born a guy, or tend to act as a little boy that doesn't want to grow up, I'm really happy to say, I'm glad to be a woman.

Hmm... not yet a woman, but at least a girly girl ;)

ps: isn't it also great to know girlies, that we all desire to be lovable to others, and we forget that we are already so loved by Jesus, the person whose love we're most unworthy of, yet loves us the most. hang in there sweeties!